his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
