What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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