Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
