Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
