Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
