It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
