It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
