By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
