I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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