***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
