I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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