If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
