First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize