Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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