Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
