Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
