My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize