I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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