I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
