How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
