She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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