His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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