Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
