wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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