you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
