i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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