I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
