I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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