gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
