I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
