I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
