I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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