We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
