all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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