My nipple is on Facebook.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
