Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
