There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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