I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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