you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
