Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
