im about as happy as oj after his trial
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
