Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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