those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize