I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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