have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need a beard to bite.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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