I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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