How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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