how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize