she was so not down for the gang bang
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
