Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
