it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
