Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
