I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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