You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize