I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
