I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
