I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
